Relationships and Satya: Why We Lie to Our Spouses

Have you ever noticed that wedding vows don’t include a promise to always tell the truth? A recent article in the Wall Street Journal explains why—it turns out that even the best relationships are littered with white lies. In fact, the article suggests that lies about small things are healthy for relationships.

My instinct is to say “BS!” I hate catching my spouse in white lies and do my best to practice satya (truth). But, truth be told, I’m not one to back down from bending the truth in order to avoid a pointless, nonproductive argument. My white lies typically involve rounding down instead of rounding up when asked about the cost of a new purchase…and if the new purchase isn’t noticed, why bother to disclose it at all?

When I lie it’s because I determine that the issue is something small that need not cause suffering for my spouse (does that qualify as ahimsa?). Reading through the confessions in the WSJ article is entertaining and a bit comforting, but also unsettling. Where is the line between white lie and deal breaker, and are we all just playing with fire?